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Loves to eat.Loves to cook and bake. Loves to kick. Loves to laugh. Loves to stone. Working, Xhausting. Yearning >> Zilch.
Saturday, 14 January 2012 | 5:00 pm
Alhamdulillah. i'm finally working after 3 weeks of frictional unemployment. started on 040112 so i'm about 8 days done? yep. people are friendly and food is fine. but one big prob is i have to share a desk with my cik colleague. who's been super nice and accommodating by taking me in and allowing me to infringe her space. the actual prob is just that i don't see the fairness of it. or more like the point of hiring me and expecting me to share a cubicle with somebody and not giving me a proper job. now i'm just learning what she does and doing it for her, day in day out. which is fine, since i'm getting paid. but if i had to do this for the rest of my life, i think i'd rather walk out this instant. 6 months? erm. if i don't go bonkers, i'll stay. but since i heard that there's actual data for me to process soon, a bona fide job assigned to ME, i guess i won't be going anywhere until i hopefully get into uni >> InsyaAllah. this is another headache for me. i haven't been tormented by post A-level nightmares yet. i think they'll be coming a few days before the results are due in march. scared yet not frightened as of yet. as always, my emotions lag a few minutes before the actual thing. the work life has compelled me to sleep at 0000 and wake up at 0600 (an already major adjustment to my usual sleep pattern). tiring of course. and there are days where i just want to sleep in, but can't cos i realise that i'm no longer in school. cannot pon as and when i need to "study". haha. ok. enough of work. in lieu of v-day in a month's time, let's talk about my love life. or rather, the lack thereof. sometimes i think i know when a guy likes me cos i get some vibes thing. no idea whether i've been right before cos duh, i don't ask him outrightly whether he does. so i dunno if a guy has ever liked me. ok fine have la. but nothing substantial worth mentioning. recently (or always, haahaa)... i dunno if it's cos i'm edging towards the end of my teen years and/or my hormones continue to rage forevermore etc. i want to have kids. i want to get married. but no, i haven't thought of the colossal financial and emotional baggages. in my world, i still feel like a 15-year-old. i don't feel like my age, i dunno how to act my age. without my sis on the same continent, i feel even more lost than ever. not that my sis will help me all the time. she rightly advises me to find my own way and not be so hingus. haha. i miss her. hope when she comes back, i would have matured and grown gracefully into a lovely young lady :B anyway, back to the topic at hand. how do i know when to act on my gut feelings? do i give the guy a nudge in the right direction or wait around for something to happen even when he doesn't have my number? even when he and i aren't familiar with each other, just 2 acquaintances who worked together a few times and that's that? even when we hardly share anything in common? how do you know what to do in these instances? how to know if you are letting your Mr Right slip right through your hands cos you have no idea he's there right in front of you??? seriously. no one knows the answers to these but God. yet i have to make some effort, haven't i? if i wanna have 11 kids before i turn 35. lol that's insane. yes i'm kidding. i'll stop at 4, if i can afford. haha. do share your thoughts. i'm aware that my blog has been dead for ages and no one comes to visit anymore. but one can still hope after making some effort :D oh yeah. i halted my cooking expedition for awhile. too busy and no money to sponsor myself yet. lol. irnasrina Notepaper.
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